Let’s Define Free, Shall We?
So, it’s that time of year…time to watch some people do some Shakespeare in some Park.
That’s right…today marks the first day of The Public Theater’s Shakespeare in the Park’s Twelfth Night. They are ALL about bringing that famous bard to the people…for FREE!!! Golly Gee, how nice of them!
I’m SO super excited, this being my favorite play and…OH MY GOD…Anne Hathaway!!! Alright, get out your paper and pen: here are the two simple options for getting free tickets.
Simple Option One: Go to Central Park, NYC, around 3am on the day you would like to see the play, and wait in the longest line in history until you get a ticket or until the sun sets and they inform you the tickets are all gone.
Simple Option Two: Go to their website at midnight on the day you would like to see the play and wait in their virtual line until you get a ticket or until the 12th hour arrives when they inform you the tickets are all gone and the virtual line is closed.
Such a wonderfully egalitarian process!
That is if your time, that precious essence of life, is worth nothing. Maybe it’s overly narrow minded and capitalist of me, but I’m sorry…that is not free. Spending 12 hours waiting in a line is not free.
So, please…please let me BUY the tickets. I appreciate the offer for you to pick up the tab, but really…I insist…I got this one.