The Chronicles of Skystrider
Once upon a time, I participated in an MMORPG called Dark Age of Camelot.
My character was a precocious half-elf champion with the unlikely name of Skystrider Antilles. He, and other Mep House avatars vigilantly defended the lands of Hibernia.
But that is a tale for another time. Today I want to share an old piece of short fiction that stemmed from DAOC lore and my frustrations with ISP provider, SBC Yahoo!
A tall, yet ambiguous figure walks through the automatic doors in the ornately decorated office lobby of Yahoo SBC. As he passes through a lowered archway, alarm bells sound.
The security guard on duty stands up, hand flying to his holster.
“Sir! You have tripped the metal detector! Please turn around and face the wall!”
The figure walks out of the shadow of the archway, unphased by the guard’s command.
The guard is stunned by the visage before him. A tall, very gaunt man with pointy ears and large blue eyes, dressed in a full suit of medeival scalemail armor stares back.
As the guard reaches for his pistol, the tall ‘man’ shouts something at him in a foreign tongue. The guard’s knees buckle immediately, and he slumps to the ground, severely weakened.
Skystrider, the ancient elf, approaches the security desk curiously. He looks at the panel full of lights and switches, totally dumbfounded by what he sees.
One strange symbol (not resembling Celtic) catches Sky’s eye: SBC Yahoo! Inc.
Without knowing why, hate beings to swell in the ancient champion. He somehow knows that this strange place is responsible for his extended hibernation. He cannot remember why, but he knows that he can never return home while this building and its inhabitants are allowed to live.
A nearby door flies open, revealing a half-dozen heavily armed security guards. They begin to yell at the tall figure.
“Get down on the ground, right now!”
“Move!”
Sky turns his head to see his assailants. Faintly reminded of his old-time foes, Briton Scouts, he takes the familiar defensive position behind his silver-gleaming arcanite shield.
The guards, somewhat confused by the anachronistic appearance of the elf, surround him in a small semi-cirle.
“Stop there,” speaks the elf.
The guards ignore the warning, and move in closer. Skystrider, realizing their intent, slings his shield over his armored shoulder.
In a well-practiced maneuver, he draws a gigantic elven greatsword from his back-sheathe. The blade, glowing with blue-electricity, temporarily stuns the oncoming security guards.
“Drop your weaponn! Now!”
Skystrider yells an unintelligible command back at the guard, at which point an invisible force knocks him six feet backwards against a potted plant — rendering him unconscious.
The other five open fire.
Sky lunges with his giant sword, but is soon beaten back by the barrage of bullets. They easily pierce his scalemail and inflict a dozen large wounds in the elf’s torso.
Sky, dumbfounded by this form of assault, falls to his knees, and collapses on his back.
One brave guard approaches the fallen figure cautiously. Seeing that the elf is still alive, he takes out a pair of handcuffs. As he kneels next to the bloodied figure, he sees the lips of the elf begin to move. He moves his head closer to listen…
Sky whispers two words.
“Ignore… Pain…”
Instantaneously, the elf’s wounds close, as a malevolent grin spreads over his elven features.
The elf bolts upright and unleashes a piercing yell…
A white ball of energy expands outward from the arms of Sky and envelops the security officers. Those nearest the champion are instantly vaporized. Others, still engulfed in flames, stagger away from the elf as he rights himself.
Then, Sky shouts something resembling English, that the survivors in the lobby can hear all too well…
“YOU WILL PAY!”
[…] Set to go into production after Spiderman 4 (tentatively titled: Web-Slinging for Cash), the movie is sure to attract the attention of the over 10 million devotees to one of the most effective time wasters ever created by modern humans (with apologies to Dark Age of Camelot.) […]
[…] waking hour marauding around as an Elven Champion, in some sickly nostalgic attempt to resurrect Skystrider Antilles, we drive off the Procrastination Boogeyman by immersing ourselves so deeply into the game that we […]