Farewell, Hummer

I dun heard that the they gonna stop makin Hummers, so I wrote this here ditty, that I might not get the punching fits.

Ode to my Hum-V

Soaring eagles cried today
Cause Hum-V is goin away.
I begged GM to help it stay,
but the Chinese welched, they must be gay.

Oh Hum-V, so many memories
Like chasing possums into trees.
Flying the Stars and Bars in the breeze
while listening to 98 Degrees.

I loved the way your tire tracks,
gave our neighbor heart attacks.
Your trunk holds 1,700 Big Macs
I threw the wrappers out the back.

Hum-V, what will I do now
if I can’t use you to help tip cows?
I just can’t think of how
else to haul my kegs of Skittlebrau.

You were my favorite four-by-four.
You made my tiny penis seem so much more.
Whenever we rode along the Pismo Beach shore,
You and me were giving the finger to Al Gore.

So goodbye to you, my trusty truck
Once you’re in car heaven, you won’t be stuck
with no more gas and no more bucks
to spend on it. That part always sucked.

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