As a professional contrarian, I’ve often held to the notion that once something is well-liked by too many people, it can no longer be of decent quality. Despite this tendency, I went into a showing of Box-Office Leader Bruno, last night, with high expectations. Sacha Baron Cohen, in my opinion, had the chance to transcend the usual Hollywood nonsense and become an important satirist — a figure that could actually bring insightful commentary to the increasingly vacuous American public forum of debate. My hopes were soon lost in the nether-regions of a hideously bad movie.

There is nothing poignant, or innovative, or novel about Bruno. The film boils down to 80 minutes genital peakaboo, and nothing else of substance.

Unfortunately, this seems to be what happens when a movie is too important to fail. Too much money is infused into the project, too many vapid Hollywood producers try to put their personal stamp on the piece, and you end up with a shitty, over-stirred, over- seasoned broth of failure. This is the plague of the entire sequel, prequel, shmequel movie industry.

Eventually, someone is going to realize that you can’t make a compelling piece of art with a cowardly corporate mindset. Bruno is simply a dumbed-down replay of the Borat formula, with ever more gross-out moments. Gone is the endearing dialogue. Gone is the allowing interviewees to bury themselves via clever Cohen commentary. Gone is any semblance of a consistent narrative to move the piece along.

This movie reminds me of the laziest, worst brand of stand up comic, who has never bothered to come up with a point of view of his own, and instead resorts to telling 15 minutes of dick jokes. It’s good for a few giggles, but is instantly forgettable, and we are all dumber for allowing it to enter our grey space.

While it’s possible that the Hollywood Machine may attempt to squeeze a few more dollars out of the Cohen/Mazer/Larry Charles crew, I can say with great confidence that, for all intents and purposes, this franchise isht dead.

Update: Bruno just posted one of the most precipitous revenue drops in modern movie history. I guess I’m not the only one who found it so objectionable.

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