No I’m not suggesting we ban Mariah Carey’s attempt at movie making.  Nor do I mean the harmless, though annoying, glitter graphics people add to their Myspace and Friendster pages.  Finally, I’m not suggesting we waste our valuable legislative time banning Paris Hilton’s addition to the already overly saturated perfume industry.  I’m making a simple request.  Ban that stupid, little bitty, sparkly crap that they attach to greeting cards.  All other forms of fairy dust are fine by me.  After all, we Meppers hate the War on Drugs.

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An unending deluge of Madoff-related shit continues to hit the fan. The newest story is that Mep alma mater, Brandeis University, is planning a fire sale to compensate for a crumbling budget. And the budget deficit is primarily due to several major donors’ associations with Bernie Madoff.

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This… this is sheer genius. I confess a tinge of jealousy at not coming up with this one. The concept isn’t new, as several friends have expressed a belief to me in a “female hive mind.” But the execution here is nearly perfect.

Courtesy of the Onion News Network

I first saw this piece as part of a Mike Judge sponsored traveling animation show in Los Angeles. It was created by The Mill, a production company that usually wastes its vast talent and resources on television commercial effects. Fortunately for the artistic world, even TV commercial producers have spare time on their hands…

I’m not a full-fledged Pastafarian, but I’m definitely a sympathizer. Below, you’ll find an old Pastafarian parable of the first true test of the One True Noodly Deity, the Flying Spaghetti Monster…

This song speaks to the relief felt by many (including Yours Truly) that our world is temporarily in the hands of the competent.

Strange yet addicting website Art of the Title features particularly eye-catching opening credit sequences. This one is from a 60s spy movie called Danger: Diabolik and it makes me want to relieve myself into my monitor.

There...are...FOUR...rings!

“Italian and British scientists want to exhume the body of 16th century astronomer Galileo for DNA tests to determine if his severe vision problems may have affected some of his findings.”

So as I understand it, the scientists want to find this out so they can fail the same way he did.  They’re not interested in dealing with his successes, you see.  Only his failures.

…

…because this will prove at least we can screw up as much as a genius, right?

Who’s with me?

Please tell me I didn’t hear what I thought I heard…

Even fisting, hmm? Oh you lovably zany Fox affiliates. Where would awkward on-camera mediocrity be without you?

One of my favorite sports writers, Bill Simmons, noticed last week that Kobe Bryant had added the Testicle Dance to his celebration repertoire after hitting a late (seemingly game clinching) 4th quarter shot against the Spurs. Here’s the video:

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