Originally posted on The Fresh Scent.

The Medical Marijuana referendum brigade is on the warpath.

Today it’s setting its sights on Illinois, where State Senator William Haine (D) has sponsored the Compassionate Use of Cannabis Pilot Program Act. And, as per usual, some of Senator Haine’s colleagues are playing the role of Cretin’s Advocate, as they argue for the logically challenged.

Soft-brained Senator Patricia Bellock (R) noted:

“It is the No. 1 drug that introduces young people to other drugs.”

Common knowledge would tell one that a plant doesn’t have the sentience or social skills necessary to introduce people to other inanimate objects. So, unless Senator Bellock is secretly an Herbal Animist Witch (and thus privy to inside information), this argument doesn’t seem to hold much weight.

Simple State Rep Julie Hamos expressed some further concerns about the bill:

…I’m worried about giving plants to patients.

Perhaps Julie is right. It does seem incredibly dangerous to give sick people access to plants. Much better to keep them in sterilized tube-bubbles while they pop rainbow-colored pills that are seventeen steps removed from anything that occurs in nature. We should be pumping as many chemicals into the sick and dying as possible. Giving them access to plants only reminds them that there is a living world outside their hospital cell windows. This could dangerously reinvigorate the suffering.

State Rep. Lou Lang (D) summed the whole thing up pretty well:

The opposition is coming from members… who don’t have the guts to say ‘yes’… They are fearful of their next election and looking for excuses, while people are out there suffering.

Lou’s right on the money. Politicians have a history of being a heck of a lot more paranoid than pot smokers. Rationality can be very hard to come by this time of year.

It’s another 80s cartoon/toy ready for the big screen. It’s My Little Pony, and it’s bad ass.

This is really spectacular. I can’t tell you how much chronically passive aggressive people make me want to passive-aggressively punch them in the face.

Screw global warming. You want some planetary catastrophe? How about this new study released that estimates a 1% chance that Jupiter’s gravity will alter the orbit of Mercury to the point that it causes the collapse of the entire inner solar system.

Did I mention that this process is supposed to take place over the next 5 billion years? Hmm, suppose I forgot that part. That’s around the same timeframe that it will take for the sun to balloon into a red giant, snuffing out this part of the solar system anyway.

Meh. I suppose it’s not as scary as swine flu or Rhianna’s red carpet outfit, but I can dream, can’t I?

Being on call for jury duty this week, I found this post particularly amusing.

Full-sized link.

The Adrenaline ‘Dominate’ Button, Famous Gerontologist Sounds Like Crazy Russ, An Ethical Treatise on Advanced Review Copies, the Third Sign of the Apocalypse, How to Make it in the Fantasy Fiction World, Eunuch Rabbits, Quaid Discrimination, and The World’s Video – “One of the Great Moments in Human History.”

Download Mep Report #112

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One of my favorite classic YouTube mashups that reveals, Hugo Weaving’s Agent Smith accent to be nothing more than a knock off of prolific astronomer, Carl Sagan.

Here’s a quick hit from the Python Master, himself.

A Florida mayor, apparently nostalgic for Nazi Germany, has lobbied to criminalize the wearing of baggy pants in his town. Last year, Riviera Beach mayor, and assumed facsist, Thomas Masters, convinced 72% of his constituents to pass a town ordinance that fined baggy pants wearers to the tune of $150. Repeat offenders can earn larger fines and even mandatory jail sentences.

Riviera Beach officials consider baggy pants to be part of a culture associated with drug dealing and other criminal activity. Apparently local police have found it too difficult to effectively prosecute laws already on the books, so they have taken to locking up those citizens without pre-approved wardrobes.

An unusually sane Palm Beach judge has already ruled the ‘Saggy, Baggy Pants Law’ unconstitutional, but Mayor Masters isn’t giving up so easily. Reports from his administration indicate that he is considering future proposals to criminalize slang speech, wearing crooked baseball caps, and driving while under the influence of 50 Cent.

Originally posted at The Fresh Scent

Richard Fleihr, 21, son of WWE Hall of Famer, Ric Flair, was arrested Sunday when officers found heroin inside his car. Apparently Fleihr was setting up for his patented double-axe handled syringe-injector suplex, when a Charlotte police officer executed a dramatic wrist lock immobilizer.

Though this was Fleihr’s first recorded smack-related arrest, he had been booked on a DUI less than two months ago, and was driving without a valid license. When the arresting officer pointed this out, Fleihr raised his hands to an invisible crowd and shouted “Wooooo!”

He sure has a lot of his father in him.