Now we’re talking, internets. This is some highly Freudian, demented awesomeness. If only I spoke Spanish. Could someone please translate the speech of the bug-eyed shame phantom and post it as a comment? You’d be doing the emu a great service.

Ferris Bueller is the original Tyler Durden.

“-Ism’s in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself.”

I’m sure there is some kind of sexual innuendo going on here, but I can’t resist the opportunity to post another French, abstract, music video.

This movie would have been exponentially better than “Angels in the Outfield.” You’re telling me no one wants to front $20 million to get it done? Do it. Get it done.

By the way, if you’re wondering why the coach has cerebral paulsey, check out the story of Zach Anner and his near-hosting of Oprah’s new show.

And so, the ravenous sports media culture finds itself T +24 hours past their biggest scoop of the summer.

The anointed one, the most finely tuned athlete/behemoth ever to come out of Ohio has left his hometown team. Instead of staying put and playing basketball martyr, LeBron James has decided to join two of his closest athlete/behemoth friends to form a mini-Harlem Globetrotter team in South Beach.

So, for fear of having to return to baseball, the World Cup, and other summer sports fare, the sports media has turned its attention to the jilted Cleveland fanbase.

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Forgive the recent spate of inactivity. The Meppers are just recovering from our quasi-annual Mep Conference and Retreat in the bowels of Beverly Hills, California. While the Wilsons had to be tele-conferenced in at the last moment, we were able to cover many pressing Mep-issues of the day, not limited to setting appearance dates for various upcoming nerd-culture conferences and determining a winner in the Outdated Version of FIFA Soccer Challenge.

And now, a mostly unrelated hip hop video entitled “First World Problems,” which should make all of you feel terrible about yourselves — or at least about your griping.

After a seven hour shift of picking internet cotton, I tend to get a little loopy. That is why all I have to offer you in my stir-crazy state is EVELYN WAUGH, EVELYN WAUGH, LA LA LA LA LA LA LA.. EVELYN WAUGH. Sing with me!!!! EVELYN WAAUUUUUUUGH….

I keep telling you that the French are internet video geniuses that operate beyond our understanding. And you still don’t believe me?

The Klingons have got nothing on our battle songs…

In what sounds like a scheme concocted by an ambitious 5-year old, a group in Peru has begun painting all of the nearby mountain ranges white in the hopes of re-spawning glaciers.

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