The Mep Report | Debate Podcast

I am Ahab and Jury Duty is the Whale…

…without the whole loss of a leg and focus on revenge.

Since I turned 18 and registered to vote, I have been looking forward to the opportunity of doing Jury Duty.  As the years passed and people around me got called in, my excitement grew.  Their stories of boredom, frustration, and loss of pay were lost on me.  I had my eyes on the prize and the prize was Jury Duty.

Yes, part of it is a hope to be that much closer to pretending I’m in a Law & Order episode.  But most of it is a desire to see our justice system up close and personal.

Where did you get this desire from, you ask?  I have no idea.  My father, the ever optimistic and encouraging father that he was, always said, “If you like sausages and you like the government, you don’t want to see either one being made.”  So, I don’t think I got the inspiration from him.

I won’t deny the excitement is tinged with a bit of fear.  What if I have to serve on a case where some company hires a guy to manipulate the jury into a particular outcome and they try to use something from my past or present to blackmail me?  Or what if I’m on a jury for a case against a mob boss and he hires someone to take me out?  But other than that, no worries!

Anyway, so here’s my saga…let me take you back two years ago…FINALLY, at the age of 32, I get a summons and for Grand Jury no less!  I’m super pumped because I’m 9 months pregnant and working for the city, so I’ll get paid in full while I’m doing it!  I show up, wait in a line, and when I get to the head of it, a woman asks, “Do you want to do Jury Duty?”  “YES!” I exclaim to which she responds by taking my form and saying I’ll receive something in the mail within the next 3-4 months.

What?!@#$!%#@$%

I called and pleaded with them, “can I not get assigned earlier?”  Nope, they’re booked.

Four months later…sure enough I get my summons when I’m no longer working and at home with a 2 month old.  Needless to say I postponed it via the phone, hoping and praying that I wouldn’t get it until I was working again.

One year later, I receive my summons and since I already postponed once, I have to go in in person.  Well, the important part of this story is not the fact that I had to postpone again because my current job doesn’t pay for jury duty and the city’s $40/day won’t cover childcare.  The important part is that no one asked for my ID at any stage of the process of signing in or signing up.  Maybe, they do when the case actually starts, but maybe not.  So, all I have to do is win the lottery so I can quit my job and then steal someone else’s jury duty summons and I’m golden.  Any volunteers with a winning ticket and current summons?

Interested in other Jury Duty experiences?