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Discovered a treat on Vimeo last night. It’s a full 70-minute stand up routine of Carlin and Hicks disciple, Marc Maron.
This routine, filmed a couple weeks ago at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade theater, will give you a good sense of Maron’s plodding, dark, self-loathing, intellectual style. He seems equally depressed as the Patron Saint Bill Hicks would be having to face a media world as over commercialized and sold out as ours is.
Elba Reinshocker embraces her mother, Hilde, after being discovered in a basement where she was chained up for 22 years as a sex slave. Hilde said she “could not comprehend how happy she was” to learn that this was her daughter’s fate.
Continue reading “Mother Elated by News Daughter has Been Tortured for Decades” »
Or at least that is the sort of riveting storyline that sells craptastic Quiznos subs these days.
Senavene April 2008
A year ago, I took Senavene to the post office. She was strapped to my front wearing all pink, half covered in a pink blanket, with a pink pacifier in her mouth. Why? We were given LOTS of pink, I swear. I put “yellow please” on the registry, but I don’t think anyone paid attention.
Anyways, what did the teller ask me? “How old is he?” How old is HE?
After 14 months of this, I can honestly say I don’t care that people continue to call her a boy. I’m told it’s common for babies with very little hair. Most moms tape a bow to their daughter’s bare heads. But honestly I don’t care. I simply respond by telling them how old she is. I’m more fascinated by how someone’s brain would ignore all the social clues in the form of pink paraphernalia and use the male pronoun. Not only that, they quite often also say that “he is really beautiful.” I can’t blame them. I mean she is gorgeous.
Sent image to Wilhelmina kids, but no response...sigh, there's goes her College Fund
But again, I digress. My question is: are most people stupid or are their brains on auto-pilot and make errors because there is no gender neutral pronoun? People can’t say “how old is it?” That would piss any parent off. So, they either need a gender neutral pronoun or come up with some convoluted phrasing that sounds weird — “how old is your baby?” “Pardon me, have you any Grey Poupon?”
So to continue the sexism, SNL came up with a skit focusing on MALE bald babies. Because don’t we all feel bad for the bald male babies?
Pay no mind to creating something for the poor, misunderstood FEMALE bald babies. Well not any more, thanks to the mental prowess of the fine people at Baby Bangs. So, which one do you think we should get? We’re taking votes. I think I’m liking “Fairy Tale Flowers.”
Recent video of Ahnold talking about the need to spice up the way we talk about infrastructure.
To loosely paraphrase, “C’mon! C’mon! We must have the big blockbustah, super powerful, nuclear, gigantic, molecular destructionating of our sewage systems! Get to the choppah! The choppah! I have Supah Powerful bricks with mortah! C’mon! Leesten to me! Leesten!”
Hypermepilating, Sexual Innuendo and You, Breaking up with Greg is Hard to Do, Don’t be Glen (or Ross), Elves are Fancy Boys, Heavy Metal Sonnets, Russ’s New Snazzy Gadget (that isn’t purple!), and Mac Users are Jerks!
Simultaneous Mepping, Greg Gets Mistaken for a Sixteen Year-Old, Hugh Grant’s Whore Mangler, Enterprise Fender-Benders, Costco’s Sarcastic Price Club, Clea Learns to Hate, Telemarketing 101, More Wiki-Vandalism, All Sex is Rape Until it’s Not, and Newsflash: Christopher Walken is Strange.
Enter the Cavalry, the Trapeze Wedding March, Sex and Fake Ratios, Just Sell Baby, the Stock Market Crash, Hating What You’re Good At, Strom Thurmond Totally Pwns Al Sharpton, Fixed Incomes, The “I Shouldn’t [Blank] With Money” Challenge, Ben Brandzel’s Conveyor Belt Scenarios, Taxation by Earmark, and the Department of Pro Wrestling.
