Perfect Girl Exposed! (No, It’s Not What You Think), Shrooms Exposed! (No, That’s Not What You Think Either), Russ Wins at 12th Dimensional Chess, Jackie Hates Perfect Girl, How Long Does It Take to Write the Perfect Text, Always Carry the One When Calculating the Rapture, When Atheists Attack, and Storey Exposed! (No, It’s…Well, Maybe It Is What You Think).

Download Mep Report #127

In case you’re wondering what I got, it’s this:

You’re Medical Malpractice!
Thanks to you, people not only see healthcare interactions as a chance to get better, they also see them as a potential lottery ticket. Unfortunately, everyone bears the cost of that lottery so that the payoffs are coming from the entire group of people who could get sick which is, at last check, uh, everyone. Sure, people should be disincentivized from doing harm as a doctor (I think there’s an oath about that), but since they just get insurance to pay for you, it doesn’t really seem to make anyone better. But they do order a lot more tests, just in case. Which helps keep the price of the whole operation (get it?) that much higher. But who doesn’t like playing the lottery?
Take the Consequences of Capitalism Quiz at the Blue Pyramid.

You can also find this on Facebook, unlike the last 13 quizzes I’ve created. Though they’ll be up on FB too.

Give a Man a Quarter and He Can Play One Game, Teach Him to Write in Basic and He Can Feed a Village (Really), They Don’t Make Video Games the Way They Used To (and Get Off My Lawn!), Russ Can’t Help Falling In Love…Again…, Is This the Text That Launched a Thousand Ships?, How Rabbits From Certain Places Can Help You Recover Your Voice, How Many Meppers Does It Take to Get One Mepper a Date, Angry Pictures are Angry, and Chemistry = Not Fat.

Download Mep Report #126

Greg Runs the Gauntlet of the Spa Castle, Uniforms Vs. Au Natural: Fight!, To Every Horde, Turn, Turn, Turn, The Horror of Red Bumperman, The Joy of Having One’s Skin Ripped Off, and Zombie Kings.

Download Mep Report #125

Greg Gets a Mortgage (and Becomes an Adult), Russ Gets a Bear (and Becomes a Psychic), Storey Gets a Twin (and Becomes a Skeptic), Kobe Bryant and Jimmy Kimmel Destroy Society One Video Game at a Time, The Meppers Get Immersed, and Everything is Awesome In Sloooooowwww-Moooooo.

Download Mep Report #124

Headlines Grate While Storey Updates, Bedbugs are Bed (Uh, Bad), Some People Call it a Unabomber…Russ Calls it a Beard (mmmhmm), Slide Whistles are Better Than Suicide, The Final Days of DAOC, The Second Coming (and Leaving) of Greg, Then Everyone Was a Jedi, and the Forecast is Partly Cloudy With a Chance of Apocalypse.

Download Mep Report #123

Lecturing Prison Gangs, Michael Richards Riot Redux, Fantasy Theater of the Abhorrent, Know Your Audience, Don’t Celebrate Mediocrity; Celebrate the Jersey Shore, Malnourished Pet Superheroes, And the Legend of Ten Fists and the Lost Soul Fragments.

Download Mep Report #122

The Greatest American Five Fingers, The Teabag Doesn’t Fall Far From the Tree for Rand Paul, We Like Ice Cream Because It’s ICE CREAM!, What if We Just Lightly Sear Them?, Lakers Fail at Immigration, Invading Arizona for Fun, Profit, and Golf Courses, Greg Roots For the Insurance Company to Win the Bet, and the BuddhaFather.

Download Mep Report #121

Perhaps in reaction to yesterday’s post, wherein the emu discovered that the police were not on his side, a South Carolina emu hoofed it away from law enforcement today.

“Police Lt. Joe Johnson said he wasn’t sure how he would phrase his report, saying the animal didn’t appear to break any laws, except perhaps running from police.”

Thanks to Mep friend Beth Mandel for the heads-up.

Surprisingly absent from the debate in the article seems to be the issue of whether parents will be sneaking some alcohol to their accompanied minors. I guess people assume that only mid-ranged kids leaning toward teenhood are the ones who want to sneak some sips, or more importantly that any parents who want to give their helpless children alcohol already can under the cover of their private homes.

Come to think of it, I remember some vague family friends in Oregon who would regularly feed their baby half a beer, in part to aid in sleeping. Ah, rural Oregonian child abuse.

In any event, it looks like Clea may find it harder to get a drink with Senavene in tow, even close to home. So much for respecting the princess.

Hey, Hey, The Gang’s All Here, Krull and Kelp Kollide, Russ Goes Back to School, Immortality Is/Is Not Overrated, Baby Sea Cucumbers, Rack-O is Whack-O, Cash for Coal, and NAFTA Bartenders.

Download Mep Report #116

The story here was that I had agreed to do stand up comedy last weekend, but wasn’t particularly in the mood for joke-telling (especially given that the venue was a standard comedian trap — a privately hosted party). So, instead, I decided to employ the audience as the cast and crew in a YouTube video.

The results were mixed. Obviously I had little control over what we ended up recording, but it was a promising experiment. I sort of like the idea of having strangers collaborate spontaneously on a web project. It’s very internet ethos-y. On the bright side, it may be an entirely new form of performance art. Fun.

Mep Report 116 – Limb Regeneration in Infants from Laserfalcon on Vimeo.

Russ Gets his Graduate Degree (Mep Report 116 Highlight) from Laserfalcon on Vimeo.

Krull, Krill, and Kelp (Mep Report 116 Highlight) from Laserfalcon on Vimeo.

Download Mep Report #114

Specifically, promotion of Greg’s new novel, just released by Five Star Press.  The Third Sign, a work of epic fantasy called “a very satisfying tale from an intriguing new voice” by Bram Stoker award winning author David Niall Wilson and “memorable…gripping…if this book is any indication, the author is in for a long and successful career” by reviewers from The Beezer Review to SFFWorld to Library Journal, has gotten positive pre-publication attention, and if you have any interest in fantasy (or in supporting a Mep Reporter ), please stop by Greg’s personal webpage for information on how to order the book.  And thanks in advance for putting up with a bit of self-promotion!

UPDATE 3/28: Hi there. Welcome to our little podcast/blog project. Due to last night’s BoingBoinging, we seem to have a lot of new visitors. So after you read about our shot across the bow of AIG, you might wanna check out some of our other features, like one of our 100+ podcast episodes. Here’s a good sample to start with.

Anyway, thanks for visiting. Feel free to leave comments and feedback and let us know how we can improve the Emu. END UPDATE

Mep Headquarters is all abuzz with activity. By hook and by crook, fellow Mepper Storey and I have plumbed the depths of the internet and restored no less than five buried AIG commercials that can be found NOWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE INTRAWEBS. I shit you not. You see, AIG has taken great pains to remove these incredibly embarrassing spots from the public eye. When you watch them, you will see why. Oh, the irony.

You can visit the TMR YouTube page for the rest.

But, not only that, Meppers. We have taken three of these videos and, shall we say…. updated them? We’ve made them a bit more relevant to the current status of the company. Watch, and enjoy:

Viva la Mep!

Update 3/25: This story was just picked up on ad insider website, Agency Spy.

And also on Urbzen.

Update #2: Just hit Gawker and BNet.

Update #3: Aaaand, we have been Boinged. Oh my dear lord. Basque in the Uber Pwning of AIG.

Maybe it’ll hit AIG corporate tomorrow. One can only hope.

Many other shows, on the other hand, do not, and this makes for either annoying or embarrassingly funny moments. Hence, this post thanks to the show “My Friend Rabbit” that our Tivo recorded thinking we might like it and that I watched, then deleted before showing Senavene because it’s retarded and stupid. But before deleting it, I made you a little edited clip. I hope you enjoy. Whether you see what I see and giggle your *&$% off…or you don’t see what I see and enjoy the educational cartoon…either way…enjoy. Please note, that if you are one of those that sees what I see, I highly recommend watching it again and again, each time catching more little silly moments fitting the theme.

But I swear that's what happened!

Fortunately Brandeis came to its senses about the Rose Museum kerfuffle a few weeks ago, but alumni just got a message from the president which was intended to “clear up some of the misconceptions surrounding these issues.”  I only bring it up here briefly because I get annoyed when other factors–meteors, locusts, a terrible flood–get blamed for something instead of the real culprit, in this case the administration itself.

–From an FAQ in the current message:

Q. What is the situation involving the Rose Art Museum?

A. Unfortunately, there has been a great deal of misinformation circulating in the media regarding the Rose. The facts are:

1. The Rose is NOT going to close. The Board of Trustees voted to keep the Rose open as a teaching and exhibition gallery that is even more fully integrated into University life and the academic enterprise.

Well, now, that seems much more reasonable than…

–From the original message sent on January 26, 2009:

I am writing to tell you that the Board of Trustees met today and voted to close the Rose Art Museum.

Honestly, what were those crazy media types thinking about?

–From an FAQ in the current message:

2. The Board of Trustees voted to authorize Brandeis to sell a limited number of pieces in the collection — if the need arises in the future. Nothing will be sold into the currently depressed art market.

Okay, well that seems like a sensible…

–From the original message sent on January 26, 2009:

After necessary legal approvals and working with a top auction house, the university will publicly sell the art collection. Proceeds from the sale will be reinvested in the university to combat the far-reaching effects of the economic crisis, and fortify the university’s position for the future.

Ah, E-mail. What a tremendous way to record, permanently if you’re careful, opinions and events. It does such wonders in compensating for faulty memory and uncertain history, don’t you think?

Download Mep Report #111

Download Nazi Mime Highlight

Download Russ’ Madness Highlight

Download Mep Report #27

Download Mep Report #24

Download Mep Report #20

Download Mep Report #18