Perfect Girl Exposed! (No, It’s Not What You Think), Shrooms Exposed! (No, That’s Not What You Think Either), Russ Wins at 12th Dimensional Chess, Jackie Hates Perfect Girl, How Long Does It Take to Write the Perfect Text, Always Carry the One When Calculating the Rapture, When Atheists Attack, and Storey Exposed! (No, It’s…Well, Maybe It Is What You Think).
Give a Man a Quarter and He Can Play One Game, Teach Him to Write in Basic and He Can Feed a Village (Really), They Don’t Make Video Games the Way They Used To (and Get Off My Lawn!), Russ Can’t Help Falling In Love…Again…, Is This the Text That Launched a Thousand Ships?, How Rabbits From Certain Places Can Help You Recover Your Voice, How Many Meppers Does It Take to Get One Mepper a Date, Angry Pictures are Angry, and Chemistry = Not Fat.
In everyday speech, I try to be direct as possible, regardless of social context. This may explain my lack of understanding of most people. Experimental psychologist, Steven Pinker has some insight on this matter.
Headlines Grate While Storey Updates, Bedbugs are Bed (Uh, Bad), Some People Call it a Unabomber…Russ Calls it a Beard (mmmhmm), Slide Whistles are Better Than Suicide, The Final Days of DAOC, The Second Coming (and Leaving) of Greg, Then Everyone Was a Jedi, and the Forecast is Partly Cloudy With a Chance of Apocalypse.
Scientists have recently discovered that mastodons once excreted what has become our canon of elite cinema. This may have prompted Mep Reporter Russ Gooberman to declare the recently-released film “The Time Traveler’s Wife” a “steaming pile of mastodon dung“.
Last night, at the behest of my girlfriend, I saw the steaming pile of mastodon dung known as The Time Traveler’s Wife. Going in without reading the novel, I carried several misconceptions about the movie. I will now disabuse you of any of said misconceptions that might cause you to accidentally watch this thing…