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Breaking News: Jesus Chooses Arizona Cardinals

This could not have been an easy decision for the lord almighty. But ultimately, this Kurt Warner arts and crafts project (pictured below) won the necessary divine favor to advance to the Superbowl…

Someone might argue that Jesus wouldn’t particularly warm up to this three-headed Cerberus-looking chimera that the All-Pro Quarterback has sketched here. But, then again, this man is the alternative:

Eagles’ defensive back Brian Dawkins makes several mistakes in this piece. First of all, praying to a football is probably something that would piss off Jesus. Not to mention the fact that there are 24 footballs in play in the average NFL playoff game. So, while your personal football deity is being toweled off on the sidelines, some Unclean Heretical Football is making friends with Larry Fitzgerald.

Also, I’m pretty sure that Wolverine does not appear anywhere in the New Testament.

Not to mention his dabbling in voodoo rituals to ward off opponent field goals. Talk about mixing metaphors. These Eagles have gone well beyond the divine in a desperate effort to conjure a Superbowl ring.

Maybe next year Mr. Dawkins should try playing football the way that Jesus would. And that is to say, not at all.

CompuBeaver the Animated Series

Based on the success of the live-action mock sitcom, we decided to pursue a full-blown homemade animation starring CompuBeaver. I wrote the thing, and did the overblown VO of Lumberjack Mccune. We turned up the cheese factor to mimic bad Japanime. By all accounts, the result was a gigantic flop…

Mep Report #78

Vanilla Christ and Chocolate Moses, It’s Not Unusual for Russ to Be Alone… Because He’s Too Smart for People, the Birth of an ArrogantJerk, the Giant Flying Beaver’s Quantum Leap, Serious Vlogging, the Boston Digg Party, RIAA Puppy-Kicking Stakes, Greg Explains Why the Mep Report is On the Internet, Clea Winnebago-Ho-Chunk, Little-Known Stories of Kokopelli, Naked Hydration Via Torso-Licking, First Do All Harm, 09-F9, Diplomatic Immunity and Movie Threes, Peter Jackson’s Jesus-Gandhi-Buddha Application, We Like to Star-Wars Star-Wars, and Star Wars 255: Death of Chewbacca.

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Mep Report #21

The Large Gliding Raccoon that Doesn’t Rule the Universe, World Baseball Classic, Games People Play, Andy Witnesses a Vomiting, and Great Actors.

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Mep Report #4

1980s TV, The Giant Flying Beaver that Rules the Universe, obscure candidates for NYC mayor, scary flash videos, and the best movies of the last two years.

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