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Why, yes, sir, I am a jackass.
From Droogie at Daily Kos comes a new and exciting competition (we here at The Mep Report take no obvious position on the content herein. You’ll all just have to read between the lines for yourselves…):
The Out-Dick Jim Bunning Contest!
So, here’s a few of the things I’ve done over the past few days to prove my dick credentials, in my ongoing efforts to out-dick Jim Bunning.
I dun heard that the they gonna stop makin Hummers, so I wrote this here ditty, that I might not get the punching fits.
Ode to my Hum-V
Soaring eagles cried today
Cause Hum-V is goin away.
I begged GM to help it stay,
but the Chinese welched, they must be gay.
While American citizens are demonstrating their good will, as they do, on cue, whenever informed of a disaster of the magnitude of the Haitian earthquake, we largely remain oblivious of their own government’s direct role in the plight of one of the poorest nations on Earth.
Last week, an upstart, unknown, non-publicly traded corporation decided to forego all of that pulling-congressional-strings-behind-closed-doors business and take the reins themselves. And so, Murray Hill Incorporated has filed to run as a Rebublican candidate in Maryland’s eigth Congressional District.
I, for one, would like to welcome our new Corporate Overlords and offer them any help my flawed human faculties can offer.
Here’s a little ditty that perfectly encapsulates this last week — whether one is referencing the markets, the economy at large, the craptastic weather, the Activist Supreme Court trying to bring about the Corpapocalypse, or the tragic conclusion to the football career of Brett Fav-Re. Good times.
This week, England’s Telegraph UK, featured the SarcMark, a purportedly new innovation for warning others of your not so sincere tone. A life-long ironical satirist myself, the SarcMark seemed to offer the prospect of more directly insulting the oblivious. Unfortunately the SarcMark isn’t a novel idea — at all…
I can’t believe these opportunities are still available. I’m so happy and honored to have been chosen.
Office Of The National Security Advisor
Federal Republic Of Nigeria
Aso Rock Villa, Asokoro District,
Abuja-Nigeria.
Attn: Honourable Beneficiary
This morning, Pulitzer Prize winning reporter and respected rationalist, Chris Hedges, levied a brutal assault against the corporate citizen’s moral code (or frightening lack thereof) that seems set on consuming every decent and egalitarian institution this country has left.
Everyone’s favorite Emilio Estevez sibling was in the news today for allegedly “breaking several pairs of eyeglasses” in front of his wife during a Christmas tirade. The horror!
