Never Have I Ever Had Needles Stuck In Me…Willingly, Everyone Loves Their Anesthesiologist (When They’re Asleep), Shady Items Bought From Shady Vans Are Shady, Old Coins Are Old, Putin Steals More Super Bowl Rings than Ukrainians, Greg Doesn’t Want Racist D-Bag Medals, and America is Burning (and How to Put It Out).
You Will Not Crucify Us on a Cross of MepCoin, Barnacles on the Bitcoin Boat, Greg Doesn’t Want to be Mr. Potter, How Much Coin Could A MepCoin Mep if a MepCoin Could Coin Mep, Greg will [REDACTED] when Russ [REDACTED] because Storey [REDACTED], The Only Winning Game is to Mep, and Long Movies are Long, Snoozefest are Snooze.
While the carnage of Black Friday is behind us, it’s not too late to gather around the warming glow of the Ronco Showtime Rotisserie Cooker and give thanks for all the rival Target patrons we’ve drop-kicked, all the piece-of-crap iPhone 5S’s we’ve trashed, and planned obsolescence we’ve fueled. A Happy Cappy day to all.
After a half-hearted attempt at garnering an indictment of Ferguson officer Darren Wilson. Ferguson’s law enforcement apparatus ended their facade of due process yesterday. Several days beforehand, Governor Jay Nixon declared a state of emergency in Missouri, no doubt having gathered that the state’s judicial system had no intention of punishing one of its own. And, so Wilson’s indictment was dropped, as the city prepared for more pressing matters — the inevitable protests, riots and carnage that was to follow. Read More »
Odell Beckham Jr, son of a track star and a football player, broke the internet tonight by making a physics-defying catch in the Giants-Cowboys Sunday Night NFL game. The fine-pointed concentration and preternatural feel it takes to complete the following action is Bruce Lee-like. It’s what legends are made of. And this kid is a rookie.
I like to watch this GIF with the John Williams Pandora channel running in the background for maximum epic-ness.
In much the same spirit as Too Many Cooks, The Human Show takes a warm, fuzzy childhood trope and turns it into a walking nightmare. Congratulations are in order for Sethward Allison, and the other talented LA-area improvisors and clown-folk who assembled this skin-toned abomination.
Storey and The Big Freezy, GamerGateGoingGaga, Nice Guys Deserve–Nothing?, Gooberman Shrugged, Laser Falcon Will Destroy Your Face (If You Make a Noise), Storey Needs His Shady Avenue, and the Secret to Happiness is Abject Fear.
Casper Kelly is the Salvador Dali of uncomfortably long 80s trope-fests. His masterwork, Too Many Cooks, is a sewn together series of shorts that aired on stoner cartoon haven, Adult Swim. The video’s references are vast, covering the gamut from Family Matters, The Brady Bunch, Married with Children, Step By Step, Law & Order, Battlestar Galactica, Roseanne, The Cosby Show, Thundercats and GI Joe. The video is haunted by a serial killer who, as some reviewers have noted, bears a resemblance to Slavoj Zizek. I will say no more, and simply allow Too Many Cooks to mindworm its way into your brain and lay eggs deep in your subconscious.
Having just returned from the Arclight Cinemadome, having watched Christopher Nolan’s three-hour love letter to Stanley Kubrick on a ghetto-IMAX 70mm screen, I am resisting the urge to tear it apart. After all: